Today my relational breakthrough is letting go--not of him--but of the sting of that day. Today the victory is to walk and not fall. And by fall I mean knees-buckling-under-me fall. The victory is to stand. The victory beyond victory is to stand with soft-hearted hope. Hope of a life (somehow) restored without him in it. How could there be fullness when he is just gone. I must find fullness again within me. (Do I have to redefine love, joy, redemption to achieve?) I must see the light beyond the one I am seeking for--that light brings him back. The resurrection I now must see(k) is seen with the eyes of faith, peace and a belief that the end is never The End. Only a chance to Start Again. And so today I pray Show Me how to see this new. Show Me how to sink into you. Make me light. Against the darkness. I release despair that has held me there. It is wholly unhelpful. I respect grief. But I will not stand for the sting any longer. With victory I rise. Seeing the peace in His eyes. And holding the love and strength of a father in my heart, with me forever. I reach into the supply that will not be depleted. Never fading and without blemish--resurrected and made new by some heavenly miracle.
Today I hope again.
Today I, resurrected, stand.
All things news.
Amen.
Someone posted this on Facebook, found it helpful.
ReplyDeleteGRIEF
I had my own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side
But I'm learning there is no other side
There is no pushing through
But rather,
There is absorption
Adjustment
Acceptance
And grief is not something that you complete
But rather you endure
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on
But an element of yourself--
An alteration of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self
All things new
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